Rebellious Teenager
It is the rare parent who hasn’t experienced the stress producing antics of a rebellious teenager. There are many reasons that teenagers choose to act out in ways that are most often self destructive. Sometimes it is difficult to nail down just what those reasons are. Whatever the cause, the effects are pretty similar in every household that is a victim of this behavior.
Some of the reasons for rebellion are quite serious and need outside intervention to resolve them. There may be some real issues going on in the life of a rebellious teenager that no one can see. These can range from mental, emotional, physical and sexual abuse of the teen, to the same abuse suffered by one of the parents at the hands of the other one. Either of these situations is terrible to be stuck in. If the teenager is the victim, the scars are many. The alternative puts the teen in the unenviable position of being a witness to the abuse. As the teenager seems to have no control over what happens at home, he or she may react by taking control in other ways, such as doing anything that will bring parental disapproval. It’s a way of “showing” everyone just who is in charge. In these situations, a rebellious teenager cannot shoulder the blame for acting out.
Sometimes teenagers react violently to being suddenly uprooted from familiar surroundings and moved far away. Being taken away from long time friends and school situations can cause a teenager to change from a well adjusted happy person, to a sullen, miserable and disobedient stranger. While not every teenager reacts this way to a change of location, there are certainly enough of them who respond in this way to consider it as a reason for rebellion.
Another thing that can result in a rebellious teenager is simply due to being given everything they have asked for all of their lives. This does not make you a bad parent, if this is your situation. It only means that you must take responsibility for your teenager believing that they should never be denied anything they think they want or want to do. By never saying “no,” you now have to figure out a way to set limits and impress upon your teenager that there ARE limits to what is and is not acceptable behavior.
Any of these situations are going to be difficult to resolve, some of them more so than others. If you are experiencing the actions of a rebellious teenager, the first thing you need to do is try to get to the bottom of why your teen is behaving this way. To do this, you may need to bring in a counselor, not just for your teen, but for the entire family. A lot of abused people will not admit to it. Neither will abusers admit that is what they are. So, if your situation involves this, it will take much work to help make things any better. If you have one of the other situations mentioned here, a counselor may also be of use to iron things out and find some compromises.
